Recently there has been an uproar from sci-fi geeks (like myself), writers (like myself) and general Star Wars nerds (like myself) because Disney purchased Lucasfilm. This has caused yet another divide in what is, without a doubt, the most fanatical fanbase of anything on planet Earth. That's right, I'm calling it: Star Wars fans are more unruly than even Trekkers when the series got rebooted.
Once, we were all One! There was a peaceful time when all SW fans got along pretty much all the time. We all agreed that The Empire Strikes Back was the best of the films, The Thrawn Trilogy written by Timothy Zahn was the best of the books and would make great films, and that Han shot first. Then came the Special Editions, followed quickly by the Prequel Trilogy, and things got uglier than Jabba the Hutt chugging ipecac.
Now that Disney has purchased Lucasfilm and has promised a new Star Wars film to be released in 2015, let's take a look back at some of the other great divides and weird moments of the Star Wars franchise. And, hopefully, the analysis will enlighten even those who say these are nothing more than meaningless nerd rage debates (and I won't even bring up Jar Jar):
1. Han Shot First
This is, without a doubt, the King of Star Wars Debates, and, interestingly enough, that is because it really isn't up for debate. Han really did shoot first, but it's Lucas's refusal to own up to it that befuddles many. This debate also encapsulates everything that SW fans truly hate about the direction the franchise has gone.
To bring you up to speed, in the original Star Wars movie we are introduced to dashing Han Solo, played by Harrison Ford. He meets a bounty hunter named Greedo who has been sent by Jabba the Hutt to get some money owed and/or kill him. Han, sensing where this is going, slips his hand beneath the table and removes his blaster, and then, very cool and calmly, shoots Greedo in the head through the table and then walks out without a care in the world, tossing a coin to the bartender and saying, nonchalantly, "Sorry about the mess."
This scene has repeatedly been messed with by George Lucas, the creator of the SW franchise, so that Greedo shoots first and Han (very awkwardly through bad CGI) moves his head out of the way and shoots Greedo an instant later. Lucas has said that his rationale was that he didn't want Han to come off as a "bad guy" and he thought having him shoot first could have some people perceive him that way.
What angers fans of this series, and ought to at least intrigue even the most casual viewer, is that Lucas has made it his mission to have the originals forgotten. He's said that he's waiting for the old VHS tapes to deteriorate, so that someday all that will be left are the NEW versions. Cinematic history, therefore, has been altered. This is interesting because, not too long, Lucas himself went before Congress and vocalized his vehement disagreement with the colorization of old black-and-white films, stating that to alter them at all would alter our collective history.
To many SW fans, Lucas has now become a source of ire. Some say he is very pompous: he doesn't want you to mess with any other films that he finds classic, but he feels perfectly fine altering his own, even though almost every single SW fan you'll meet is against it. Others say that these are his films, and he can do as he pleases.
What troubles many fans is that Lucas now claims that Han never shot first, that it was a misconception by viewers and a trick of the editing, even though the original films clearly show him shooting first, as do all of the scripts he ever wrote for the film.
"Han shot first" has since become a rallying cry against changes to classic films. Most SW fans argue that changes like this are tantamount to adding a mustache to the Mona Lisa, or changing the ending to The Usual Suspects so that Kaiser Soze is really McMannis, and so on.
Many film buffs are also troubled because Lucas's changes of his own films have started a trend with his fellow filmmakers, such as Steven Spielberg, who, using CGI, removed the guns from the hands of FBI agents in his classic film E.T. and replaced them with walkie-talkies.
The question becomes, "Where does this end?" Can we just keep altering cave paintings forever to "improve" upon them, or remove the penises and breasts in those cave paintings so that families aren't so offended? If so, are we manufacturing a false history? That is, if you're looking at a cave painting or a classic film, aren't you viewing it because of how it fit within its time?
The question that most people want answered now is this: Will Disney re-release the original, untouched films that Lucas has been hiding away for so long, or will they continue to withhold this from the public forever? Only time will tell.
2. Padme is Apparently a Racist
This is something that cropped up in the Prequel Trilogy that confounded many people, including myself. Some people didn't catch this at all, and are surprised that they didn't once it's explained to them.
Okay, so, in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, Anakin Skywalker kills children. Yep, he gets angry because his mother was abducted by sandpeople (Tusken Raiders, which are tribes of wild aliens living in the deserts of Tatooine), and then kills them all! He returns later to tell his girlfriend Padme, played by Natalie Portman, "I killed them all. Not just the men, but the women, and the children too!" And all Padme has to say to this is, "To be angry is to be human."
?????????????????????
Okay, let's recap: Anakin learned that his mother was captured, tortured, and killed by sandpeople. Okay, got it. And he's angry, which is understandable. Now, he goes on a killing spree which I think most people at least understand, even if they wouldn't have done it themselves, but they can kind of wrap their mind around that. Okay...but he kills their children?! And Padme is okay with this? Not only that, but she marries him at the end of the movie, without asking him to repent or go back to see if any of the children managed to survive? Whuuuuuuuuuuu...?
Many die-hards have tried to defend this by saying, "Well, they did kill his mother." To which I say, "Would you be okay if I flew to Afghanistan, found the children of some terrorists, and killed them for what their fathers did somewhere else?" I'd hope that your answer to that is an unequivocal "No."
Some people even try to say, "Well, they're not really people, they're aliens." Whenever I hear this, I'm just dumbfounded. The sandpeople have a culture, they have a spoken language, they forge tools, they build fire and they have a tribal lifestyle. Besides that, they're even called sandpeople. These are as "people" as people get!
The coup de grace comes in Episdoe III: Revenge of the Sith, when Anakin kills children again! This time, it's human children at the Jedi Temple. When Obi-wan goes to Padme and informs her of this, Padme says, "No! I won't believe that! I...I can't!" To which myself and others said, "Uhhhh, woman, are you forgetting what happened in the last movie?" Later, she even confronts Anakin about this, and once he admits to it, she says, all astonished, "Obi-wan was right. You've changed!"
No, Padme. No he hasn't. See, you're what's called a "racist." You only perceive those that look like you as people. That's a problem, and you need to take care of that.
3. Young Anakin Standing in For Old Anakin at the End of Return of the Jedi
Yeah, I know this kind of goes in line with the whole "Han shot first" argument in terms of changes made to the originals, but this little tidbit really does stand on its own in a very unique way.
To bring you up to speed on this, at the end of Return of the Jedi, when Luke and the others are all celebrating the destruction of the Death Star, Luke sees the "Force ghosts" of Yoda, Obi-wan, and his father Anakin Skywalker. In the Special Editions, George Lucas had his special effects team remove the original actor that played Anakin and insert the ghost of young Hayden Christensen.
Not only was this jarring, it also didn't make sense.
Defenders of this change will sometimes say, "This change makes more sense, because young Anakin was on the Light Side of the Force, while older Anakin was down with the Dark Side. Therefore, once he was redeemed, he was returned to his younger state." This argument makes no sense to me, either, because, well, Luke defeated Darth Vader and redeemed him at the end of their fight. It was young Anakin that went to the Dark Side, and old Anakin was redeemed. So, by the defenders' own logic, it should have been old, redeemed Anakin that Luke saw as the ghost and not Christensen's likeness?
4. Qui-Gon Jinn Doesn't Seem to Know What He's Doing
This is an interesting one, because in the Prequel Trilogy there is a character named Qui-Gon Jinn, played by Liam Neeson, and he's a Jedi Master with uncertain logic. As a Jedi, he has the power to control weak minds, move things with this mind, levitate, and do all that cool stuff, and yet the way he uses it is very questionable.
Qui-Gon attempts to use this power on a character named Wato that is immune to his "Jedi mind trick." He tried to trick Wato into taking credits that he doesn't want. Later, Qui-Gon rigs a game of dice so that he comes out on top against Wato. So basically, he's using his power to manipulate people around him in order to get an engine part he needs to get his ship working again.
People will argue that the ends justify the means here, because he had Queen Amidala in a ship and he had to get her out of danger fast, but if that's the case...then why didn't Qui-Gon just steal the engine part he needed? Why not use his Jedi powers to jump over the wall in the middle of the night and steal the part? If he felt bad about it, he could've returned later with whatever payment Wato required.
The point many fans make is, if Qui-Gon was going to use his powers in this convoluted gambling scheme that was rigged by the influence of his Jedi powers, then why didn't he just steal the part he needed when Wato wasn't at his shop? Why did he waste time on this ridiculous race and bet everything on some kid he'd just met?
In short, many fans believe Qui-Gon Jinn doesn't seem to know what he's doing. They say he appears to be making it up as he goes, hoping all the pieces fall together at some point down the road.
5. The Senate Votes to Circumvent Itself
Okay, so, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who sat there staring at the screen and wondering what was going on when this scene happened in Attack of the Clones. As it turns out, many SW fans caught this, and even many casual moviegoers, but for those of you who missed it...
The scenario is this: there is a Clone Army that Obi-wan has discovered and Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (who will someday become the Emperor of the Empire) wishes to use them. However, he and his advisors don't see how the Senate will ever allow them to use the Clone Army before the Separatists attack.
Let's be clear: it has just been established that the Senate WILL NEVER approve the use of the Clone Army before the Separatists can attack. This means they are either still deliberating on the subject because it's a delicate problem, or else they ALL think it's a bad idea. One of the two.
So then, they get Jar Jar Binks to go before the Senate in place of Amidala, and he pleads the case that the Separatists are a terrible, terrible threat and that the Senate should grant emergency powers to the Supreme Chancellor. The Senate agrees and...
Wait, whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...?
That's right. The Senate didn't think it was a good idea to approve the use of the Clone Army, but they heartily agree to give the Chancellor emergency powers so that he can approve the use of the Clone Army. In this one scene, the Senate actually agreed to a proposal...to circumvent themselves!!! They voted to allow the Chancellor to use the very Clone Army that they've all been deliberating on, disagreeing about, and that at least enough of them were thinking was a bad idea.
So, what do you think? Is there something you think ought to be on the list that isn't?
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